Dear Me In 20 Years...

Being a parent is hard.  I'm sure in 20 years I will have long forgotten all of the sleepless nights, crying babies and nagging children.  I have already forgotten how it was when Autumn and Deegan were babies.  I constantly find myself telling people that Finn is so much fussier than the other two were.. but is that true?  Or have I just forgotten?  Being a mother is the most rewarding thing that I have ever known, but it is also the most challenging thing that I have been faced with.  I want to make sure that they are being raised to be independent and responsible adults.  I want them to appreciate everything in life.  I want them to have it all but I also want them to understand that they can't have everything, if that makes sense.  I want my children to be polite and respectful.  I want them to love each other and when they are grown adults I want them to be best friends.  In 20 years Autumn will be 27, Deegan will be 24 and Finn will be 20.  So I ask myself in 20 years, how did we do??  I know in 20 years I will long for my children to be little babies again but I want a little reminder of how hard it was.  It wasn't all rainbows and hop scotch, it was difficult and it was exhausting.  While writing this short paragraph I have already had to stop several times to pick up a fussy Finn, tell Deegan to be nice to his sister, and answer all of the questions that Autumn asks me.  I want to remember how hard it is just to get housework done.  Between nursing an infant and the kids constantly dragging out more toys it is amazing that this house is still standing.  I want to remember how hard it was to potty train and how many accidents that I have had to clean up.  I want to remember all of the dinner time arguments over how many bites that they need to take in order to be considered done eating.  I want to remember how many tantrums that my kids have thrown over silly things like not being allowed to play Mario Bros or not being able to go to every single event that her school puts on.  Some things have become a privilege for me to do, like taking a shower, putting makeup on, eating a warm dinner with the family and having my hair brushed.  I am a  parent and together along with my husband WE are choosing the path for our children.  No one else can tell us how to parent and it is no one else's business.  We are doing the best that we know how to.  So 20 years from now when i am shopping at Target and I see a young girl, hair in disarray, with 3 kids hanging on the cart, trying to get through the store without someone having a meltdown, I will not judge her.  I will look at her and tell her that she is doing a great job because sometimes as a parent that's what you need to hear, that you are doing a wonderful job.  Because we are all doing the best that we can do.

Inspired by Chatting At The Sky